Still trying to figure out which direction to go with this blog. Yeah, that’s the truth. I have been trying for days not to write that sentence out. Why because I want you to think I know exactly the direction I want to go. I have two main topics that rule my thinking when I contemplate blogging….
The first topic is with pretending and the pain it causes. Trying to be something we are not. Wanting people to believe we have it together emotionally, spiritually, financially, socially, in parenting… in life. When I was young I thought everyone over 40 had it easy. They were financially secure, they had friends, they were secure in their faith and they had read the parenting manual front to back. Basically, that they knew exactly what they were doing.
Now that I am over 40 I’m sure that is not the case.
For most of my life I have put on a mask that fit the people I was with and hoped they could not see through it. Most of the time they were too worried about fitting in with the fake me to see through my lies…. We try to fit with them while they are trying to fit with us and we never know the truth about each other. We cannot encourage or help each other through tough times
This happens in all social groups but the one that I have been involved with and have seen firsthand was the Church. I am a Christian and I believe in God but I do not believe the way we play church is a good thing. I have heard it said, and witnessed it with my own eyes; churches are made up of hypocrites. Full of pretending to be people we are not.
So many people have been turned off of God because of this. Eventually the people trying to be real are shunned because of their realness. I say eventually because churches do take in those with “sin” in their lives on the basis of “we can change them” but when the “proper” change does not occur…. Look out. And if you are a church leader….someone who has pretended VERY well… and the real you is revealed… well… you are screwed. You will never regain respect unless you put the mask back on and pay your penance.
In my opinion this is why churches don’t seem to grow…. Oh yeah the faces change… the new pretenders come in and the ones who have been revealed leave… most of the time leaving the faith as well… It does not have to be this way… And the pain caused by this is real, believe me, I have been there.
If you have been hurt by the pretention of church you are not alone. I have lived through it and have come out on the other side with a deeper understanding of what God intended spirituality to be. I won’t even pretend to have it all together because I don’t but one thing I know is that I am not alone in this. People are being hurt by this every day. If you have a story to tell please share it so we can walk this journey of healing together. And if you are a pretender… it is time to get REAL.
Its very hard when you think you are part of a family like that. Then things happen and they turn thier backs on you when you need them the most. Not only to turn thier backs on me but my children as well. For someone like me that struggles in my faith as it is, and to be treated like we didnt matter in very hard times makes it hard to even want to go back to something like that.
ReplyDeleteIts very hard not to take something like that very personally. But things happen for a reason is what ppl say so maybe one day I'll find the reason why.