So much on my mind tonight I’m not sure where to start. I want to go right into the meat of the story but I think I should clarify the purpose for this blog a little more. (Not to mention I’m a little scared to put it out there.)
I lived through a time in my life when I had no one that understood me, not even me, and all I wanted was someone to listen. Someone to tell me they had been there and understood what I was going through; someone to tell me to hold on. To let me scream and cry and laugh at myself without trying to change who I was becoming.
I know the painful process that is taking place. It is much like a caterpillar in the cocoon, all alone, scared and confused, in the dark, changing into something God created it to be. I don’t know if a caterpillar feels pain, confusion, or fear during its metamorphosis but I do know that humans feel pain, fear, and confusion in this stage. This process takes place in a number of situations or changes in life and we may go through it more than once. Sometimes the process starts and we stop it, but it is inevitable. It will eventually happen we just prolong the pain.
I want to be there, even if it is only through words on a page.
At least you will know you are not alone
So what was your difficulty. What were you becoming that you had no one to talk to? Of course I know the answer but I think other readers might like to know a bit more about why this blog is important to you and why they should read and follow it.
ReplyDeleteStupid computer ate my comment! Just wanted to let you know that I can appreciate just how hard it is to let this information out. As someone who didn't grow up in your community, I can tell you I had no idea what reality was for you. I knew you had great kids and that you walk WAY faster than I do! ;0) If your story can keep someone else from despairing alone, it will be worth the work. This blog is an act of courage, though there will be many who do not see it this way.
ReplyDeleteDonna, the stupid computer ate my reply 3 times yesterday...sorry for the delay in replying. Thank you for your encouragement. I really appriciate it more than you know. It is hard to put this information "out" there as you say but I think that most people in our community already know or have heard rumors so i might as well give them the truth. I also know that many will not see this as an act of courage or compassion but all that matters is that I do what I feel like God has called me to do. Thank you for the compliment on my kids... I think they are pretty great myself and as far as walking fast... well I have always worked in a fast paced job and I like to say i have two speeds... fast and stop lol not always a good thing. I hope you enjoy the blog and pass it on to people who will appriate it.
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