Faith, Freedom, and a Law about Neither

I was going to write a blog today but I think she about says it all!

I am not what I would call a gay rights activist. Maybe more of a civil rights activist. 

She is right when she says where will this end! Freedoms in this country are getting fewer and farther between. You take my rights away to gain your own and soon yours will be gone as well. 

As the Bible says.... None are without sin. Not One. Will there come a day when we can refuse service because we THINK someone is alcoholic? Gluttonous? Lying? They look like they might steal something? Muslim? all in the name of Religious Freedom? 

Read the blog by this wise woman and take her challenge. You don't have to be gay or pro-gay marriage to know that this legislation is wrong. SPEAK OUT TODAY

Gay Cheeseburgers in Kansas: Faith, Freedom, and a Law about neither

The Grinch Who Found Christmas

One of my favorite Christmas stories is “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” by Dr Sues.  It always reminds me of the true meaning of the Season.   Christmas is a season not a day.  It is a time of the year to reflect on how we treat others, those that are the closest to us, all the way to total strangers. 

Narrator: Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville - did not. The Grinch hated Christmas - the whole Christmas season. Now, please don't ask why; no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or it could be that his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the most likely reason of all... may have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood there on Christmas Eve hating the Whos.

Just like the Grinch most of us just want to feel a part of something, to be loved.  In our busy lives we tend to look over people or treat them as if we don’t care about their feelings.  Causing their hearts to shrink.

On our search for the perfect gift we treat clerks and sales people with complete disregard or even with a little rage when we can’t get what we want from them.   In our homes we forget to show love to the people closest to us.  We should remember we can’t buy love.  Even the perfect gift doesn’t take away the pain of cross words, of short tempers, of the feeling of loneliness even in a crowd.   It does not make the heart grow.

Grinch: How could it be so? It came without ribbons!... it came without tags!... it came without packages, boxes, or bags!

Narrator: He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought... doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps... means a little bit more!

Narrator: And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say - that the Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of Christmas came through, and the Grinch found the strength of *ten* Grinches, plus two!

My challenge today…. Show someone…..everyone that Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Show them the love shown to you that day Jesus was born.

16-18 “This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him. –The Message

The Middle

     Every life situation has two prominent points.  Points in which we seem to remember the most, like quotation marks in a book they mark the beginning and the end.  Sometime the middle is somewhat of a blur with only bits and pieces remembered and sometimes remembered differently by all involved. 

    

   Today will mark the end of Julie’s battle with cancer.  Last week she had her last treatment.  Today she has the power port removed.  For those of you who don’t know, the port is placed in the body so that the patient doesn't look like a pin cushion during a time there is a need to put chemicals into or take blood out of the body repeatedly in a short period of time.  

   

   This is also the end of the year.  Christmas is upon us and soon after that the calendar will flip and we will be rushing headlong into 2014.  Most every ending has a beginning that follows soon after for better or worse our lives are filled with beginning and endings.  Many of them overlapping and taking focus from others. 

    

   If you are like me you find yourself anxiously awaiting and yearning for the end of a time just so you can experience the next.  What I find is that the anticipation for the end also takes away from enjoying the middle.  The middle is where the meat is.  The middle is what really counts.  If there is one thing I have learned this past year it is to live every day as if it were your last.  

Enjoy the Middle!

The Face of Death

Hello friends… it has been a while.  In my last post I wrote about the speed bumps of life and the fact that one had just jumped out in front of me while I wasn't paying attention.  Maybe you are wondering what that speed bump was and maybe you aren't.  Those of you closest to me already know that on September 11^th Julie, my best friend and partner was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. 

I had never had close dealings with cancer before therefore I didn't have a clue what to expect.  As some of you know once a diagnosis is made things move quickly.  The last 4 months have been a whirlwind of change.  By September 24^th, our 1 year anniversary, she was having her first round of Chemo treatments.  They called one of the drugs the “red devil.”  It lived up to its name.  She had four treatments, one every two weeks and they knocked her off the radar for the duration.  Since then she is on a different treatment every week for 12 weeks which isn't nearly as bad.  Yesterday we hit the mid-point; only 6 more treatments and then surgery with possible radiation to follow.

The whirlwind seems to be slowing down and I actually had a couple hours this morning with not much to do.   I am a doer.  When I am not doing I am thinking….and that isn't always a good thing.

I wrote in my last post that I knew blessings would come out of this “speed bump” and they have. Julie and I had dated, seriously, for a year when she was diagnosed but none of her family or friends knew for sure that we were a couple. (Which is why you have not heard a peep about her before now)  We were always together but kept the intimate part of our “friendship” away from them.  Sure a lot of them suspected something was up but we weren’t admitting anything.  Through this look into the face of death it was decided to stop pretending. (I know, I know, I preach that pretending is not good for us!)

What we found was love and support.  We can speculate that if the big C word had not been involved the support would have been less, but I like to think that being the great gals that we are lent to the acceptance.   There was resistance and denial and a little hostility at first from some family members and rightly so, especially since I moved in right away after them finding out.  The move was not planned it was out of necessity.  The financial burden of Dr. bills for her and me trying to care for two houses and moving the kids back and forth was weighing us down and putting unnecessary stress into an already stressful situation. 

All in all, I can say that life is good.  We will beat the cancer and we don’t have to live in secret anymore.   I guess it just goes to prove one more time that being who you really are, not trying to hide or having anything to prove, is the best way to be loved and accepted by the people who matter most in your life.  Hopefully major issues don't have to happen to make this possible for you.

Speed Bumps

Have you ever been driving along, not paying much attention, and hit a speed bump?  You are suddenly snapped into reality, scared, and paying attention to everything.  Once you realize what had happened you wonder why you did not see that coming.  If only you would have paid attention you could have slowed down and taken it easy, reducing the risk of damage to your car and eliminating the shock value.

The designer of the road knew the possibilities of driving too fast and not paying attention. The speed bump had a purpose and it served it.

Life has speed bumps as well, situations that slow us down.  Make us stop and think.  Make us realize that we are not paying enough attention.  They usually have a purpose.  Most times we have no idea what that purpose is we just have to go forward.

I often think that my life has an unusual amount of speed bumps.  Not knowing the purpose of most of them until much later I continue to move forward slowing down a little after each one.  Gaining insight about myself and the world they almost always make me a better person.

Life laid down a new speed bump this week.  One I have never seen before and hope to never see again.  It felt more like I hit a brick wall (but I’m not that bad of a driver!!!!) Once again I will keep moving forward, slow down, gain insight, and become a better person because of it.

I am not sure what purpose this new speed bump serves in my life or the lives of the people I love but I’m sure that someday we will all know.  What I do know is that I will look for the blessings in EVERY day, and I will not consider the next day a guarantee.

Rambilings

Someday I might stop saying…It’s been a while since I have written.  Every day I come up with a great subject that I would like to write on and everyday slips by without a single word on the page.  I wish I was better at stopping and writing down these ideas and subjects because when I do have time I have forgotten what I was thinking.  J  Must be a sign of old age!!

Boy do I feel like I am getting old some days!

News of the day… I guess an 8 – 5 job isn’t all it’s cracked up to be because I’m going back to the Grocery and excited about it.  Sure my time at home will be shorter but it will be worth it as far a job security and sanity.

I don’t know why but I seem to get along a lot better with teen agers and men than I do with a bunch of women in an office.  Call me crazy…. You would be right!  But I will take crazy over drama any day!!!

Something I have learned about myself lately… this goes back to getting old.  I’m not so great with change these days… In the “olden” days I embraced change.  It excited and exhilarated me, today it stresses me out!  Lots of change, jobs, kids going back to school, football! I am so excited about all three at the same time so NOT.  

Everything has a positive and a negative, and these days my brain goes straight to the negative.  What has happened to my old positive brain??  Lol I can always bring it back out but sometimes it takes longer than others.

Ramblings….A couple weeks ago I went to the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to.  I did not take notice while I was there but in retrospect I have never seen anything like it! It was magnificently put together!  It was filled with guests with nothing less than love for the two people getting married and each other.  Most weddings I have attended were not this way.  They were all for show and there was always some family drama going on in the back ground.  Someday I hope to have a wedding just like that!!  Maybe by then it will be legal!! 

This wedding I attended was not technically legal but they live in a state where same sex marriage is legal and they are legal.  Papers and laws don’t make a marriage.  Love, commitment, honesty, and respect make a marriage.  I may never have the papers in Kansas but I will have all the rest!

Sally Ride, American Hero and Second Class Citizen

I wanted to share this story with all my readers.  It says a lot of what I know but have not been able to put into words!!  Click on link to read!!!

Sally Ride American Hero: This is what a lesbian looks like

I didn’t come out quietly like Sally Ride (I was pushed)  , nor have I achieved any of the things she has but I am a normal human being, raising kids, going to work, putting my pants on one leg at a time.  I wish that the few did not give the many a bad reputation but that happens in every sub-culture.

I know the minute I was pushed “out” I became a monster, and if not a monster a sinner needing saved.    Like somehow the life I had before was a lie.  We are the same people before and after the label.  How can a word change how we are viewed?

Here is another article in which Mitt Romney is quoted as praising Sally Ride for her achievements and calls her inspiring. 

Sally Ride, American Hero and Second Class Citizen

What Mr. Romney says about her after he reads her obituary and finds out she is the epitome of what he is waging war against is yet to be seen. (by me at least) 

I guess all I am trying to say is this.  It is sad that so many, like Sally Ride, have to live their lives not able to share many personal successes, like a 27 year relationship, because it might ruin their career, alienate friends and family, or bring on the many other societal consequences of being in a same sex marriage.  Not being able to have a “real” relationship with the one you love because you are living in fear is a detriment to society and self in the end.

I have to say that I respect Sally for living her life as she did and achieving the goals that were important to her despite the odds against her.  However, you can be sure she suffered some because of it.  She is an American Hero in many ways!